Why is it like pulling teeth to get a word of encouragement?

Why is it when someone asks a question about something that is frustrating them, like a job loss, or are just angry about something, that NO one can give a word or encouragement or %26quot;empathize%26quot; with that person? They seem to always give advise but few ever say these words... %26quot;I know how you feel%26quot;. You know, that would be the best answer in the whole world and that is all anyone looks for when they ask for advice.


Giving advice without walking a mile in their shoes, is like an arrogant thing to do...... just say %26quot;I know how you feel%26quot; %26quot;I have been there too%26quot;, %26quot;It will get better%26quot; or %26quot;Smile, Jesus loves you%26quot;. That shoes my friend... fit%26#039;s all. Advice is a shoe that fits only one person.


I am thinking some people are proud, and like people to think they know it all and never have problems and always think positive.... what do you think?

Why is it like pulling teeth to get a word of encouragement?
I know how you feel ,but what I tell myself is to get over it, I don%26#039;t have time for pity party%26#039;s .What ever is or has happened to you has or will happen to other people .You are not alone ,we just can%26#039;t give in to feeling sorry for ourself%26#039;s .If I let myself I can get down on life ,some thing%26#039;s just don%26#039;t seem fair .I have had my fair share of problem%26#039;s I have had the broken bone%26#039;s to prove it .We ALL have problem%26#039;s not just you ,but you know what we ALL have GOD ,he is the best friend we could ever have .We (people ) in the flesh are not perfect ,but GOD is give it all to him .Like my husband say%26#039;s he can%26#039;t read my mind ,I need to talk to him .But sometime%26#039;s we expect to much .I can%26#039;t expect him to know every time I need a hug or a shoulder to cry on .But I with his help have learned to talk to him and open up .Not to sit back and pout because he does not know my mind .Talk to GOD ,he does already know ,but it help%26#039;s to talk . THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING WHAT I HAVE TO SAY . MAY GOD BLESS US ALL PEACE TO YOU AND HUG%26#039;S
Reply:I empathize with you, as i have been there and know how you feel. Keep your chin up. Things will get better, etc.
Reply:I hate it when someone says %26quot;I know how you feel,%26quot; because, in my mind, they really don%26#039;t! I%26#039;d much rather hear, %26quot;Wow, that must be really hard for you.%26quot; The other things you suggest would also annoy me. You might like to read Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. He explains how to provide empathy for others very well.
Reply:Maybe they don%26#039;t know how that person feels? I usually say I%26#039;m sorry and try to make them feel better
Reply:Welcome to Y/A
Reply:Maybe some ppl forget to add a word of encouragement %26amp; are only focused on providing an answer, plus that person may be giving advice based on personal exp. but don%26#039;t feel comfortable saying so even when it%26#039;s here in yahoo answers where nobody really knows who they%26#039;re talking to


If it matters, I usually add a word of encourgmt. to ppl even if I don%26#039;t know what they%26#039;re going through
Reply:cause its a goddamn advice website.
Reply:If you are talking about this site, then it is, in part, because this is a question and answer site as opposed to a group or chat site for commentary (no chatting here, officially).





I don%26#039;t believe that those offering well-intentioned, polite answers would make an effort to reply to questions if they did not empathize to some degree.





Speaking only for myself: if I have a problem or a question to discuss with people I have not met, I would rather get practical advice or a valid viewpoint, delivered respectfully.





Maybe an email exchange could facilitate the more in-depth communication you are seeking. Best Wishes.



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